repetition was always a filthy lover,

repetition was always special to him.

he treated repetition like a
best friend
told him all his secrets
and got used again
and again
   and again
       and again

he repeated everything
he repeated everything
fell in love with the same boys
         the same heartbreak

over and
over and
over and
over.

so one day he told repetition to
get lost
take a hike
stay away

and he did

and all the familiar walls peeled back
to show the factory called sadness
that he'd been manufactured in
and repetition published his secrets
into a new york times best-selling novel
and he realised that repetition
wasn't the problem
but
the prayer

and so he breathily chanted
(come back)         chanted
(i need you)        chanted
(you're my life)    chanted
                   
                   Screamed [Please]

but repetition had been buried alive
8 years back
 under
dirt and grass
and the usual boys
   the usual heartbreak

and he read his headstone (he'd missed the eulogy)
and wept into his hands
and traced the outlines
of each letter with his
chewed nails and gritty palms  

                   go back to the start
                   go back to the start
                   go back to the start......

the words were engraved until there was no more room on the marker